In conversation with Mrs. Pramoda Wodeyars

Introduction

While standing in front of the most stunning palaces in India (Mysore Palace), I took a deep breath to control my level of excitement. I stood there with a three-dimensional: keeping the history alive, living in the presence, and wondering what the history of the future could possibly look like.

While driving through the palatial gate, I was awaited a warm welcome and support to enter the palace and make myself comfortable. For a moment, I felt a little bit like a queen myself. I was guided to the visitor’s room to wait until the queen herself was ready. I absorbed the history via books at display, paintings on the wall, the furniture, and the atmosphere in this room. There was a vibe created by everyone working in the palace with one common goal: to protect the history and to connect the dots with the future.

The dialogue

‘Can you share a story about a change process that impacted your life?’ I asked to Mrs. Pramoda. She nodded and replied ‘Many changes happened in my personal life. Change that impacted me as a person, as a family and as the entire Mysore community. As soon as you can review the change you’re dealing with, it is key to reflect on yourself about the impact it had on you. Reflection is key to be able to continue your life with the enriched experience called change, I think that is what change is all about. The challenge is how to get back on track after an intense disruption for example like the unexpected passing of my dear husband.’

‘A lot of change impacted my life on which I never could have anticipated. It uncovered many of my talents of which I wasn’t aware of yet, and it increased my strength to understand who I really am, and that is what matters. My late husband had full confidence in me, even though at times I was living in the shadow of public life. He had the capacity to fully observe and sense my strengths. He probably knew me better than I knew myself at that time. After his death, however, I never thought of applying my hidden talents. I needed these talents to maintain the Mysore heritage, the beauty of the family and to get back on track as a person to lead the Mysore community on my own, without my husband by my side.’

‘To be honest, I explored an interesting kind of possessiveness within myself. I am not talking about being self-centered or ego-centric in any way, however this possessiveness of mine comes from my responsibility towards the heritage, and the historical value for generations to come. Is there anybody in this world who understands all situations that happened between the year 1300 and today that pushed mankind to its next stage of development? If you don’t understand your roots, you can’t understand who you are as a human being and your contribution to everyone around you. I feel I am constantly trying to achieve the ambition to create a balance between our assets, its value, the legacy, and the ability to make others understand history such that they can understand themselves better. Furthermore, the number of enthusiastic visitors coming to our palace every single day demonstrates the need to understand one’s own part in history. I am eager to facilitate that process by keeping our family history intact and share our history as transparent and accessible as possible. It gives me immense pride to do that.’

I was blown away of Mrs. Pramoda’s knowledge and experiences and continued with my next question. How are you managing the challenges, hurdles, and pitfalls you face in times of change? Especially when you have the ambition to stay true to your passion and responsibilities.

Is there a smooth road to realize ambitions?

First of all, I am a team player. You can’t manage change all by yourself. However, at the same time, I need my privacy and time alone to reflect on life in general, myself and everything that I experience, day by day. It might sound like a paradox, but change requires both time for individual self-reflection and team support. I like the humor between people and will always try to stimulate people to laugh more. Humor grounds us and connects us.

I asked Mrs. Pramoda ‘what about cultural patterns and habits? Do we need to break through vicious circles?

‘We need to maintain and respect habits. Sometimes you must be more creative and see what you can organize around existing habits to perhaps unlearn a few and create a few new ones. The journey between ~ 3 ~ getting rid of old habits and establish new habits is challenging. We have cultural and religious habits on an annual basis which we celebrate every year. Therefore, it is my responsibility and motivation to revive these habits which will enrich our people. I love this process! The only constant in life is change, hence we need to respect existing habits but also embrace new habits we learn throughout. We can never be ‘frogs in a well…’ (Kupa Manduka).

Breaking cultural patterns and habits (or not)

The dialogue between Mrs. Pramoda and me change from a more personal level to a more professional level: how to manage change as a female leader? Are female leaders more sensitive and maybe more effective in ‘making it happen’?

‘Sometimes, we need to break through patterns if the circle of habits doesn’t allow us to take the next step in development. Are current patterns functional or somewhat dysfunctional for the evolutions of us, humans?

What kind of personal (or professional) tools you use to support your community in a change process? Mrs. Pramoda started her answer with a firm tone of voice by saying: ‘let me share some believes and experiences with you. I believe every person on earth is trying to do its utmost best to do good, or even more than that. The circumstances, however, aren’t allowing us sometimes ‘to do good’. I have the competence ‘to do good’ and support others to do the same. I use my sensitivity in the best possible way to guide that process: accept, adapt, and accelerate. I also firmly believe that one should ridicule oneself, or to make jokes about oneself. Why? It keeps you in the presence, you should never take yourself too seriously, which means you can’t escape reality. That is managing change from my point of view.’

Competences and paradoxes

‘You know Marianne, Mrs. Pramoda continued, I am lazy, very lazy and at the same time a workaholic.’ I started laughing out loud as it sounded very familiar to me. ‘Yes, she continued, I am very well organized in my mind, however in my daily work I am not organized at all.’

I just loved the paradoxes Mrs. Pramoda shared. I shared my impression about her being a very strong female leader. She looked at me with a bit of disbelief. Connecting people’s hearts is the most powerful connection a leader can achieve. Supporting others from that perspective is even more powerful in the sense of being connected, a universal strength required amongst female leaders, especially in India

So, you do the same? Mrs. Pramoda asked me. We started laughing again. I asked Mrs. Pramoda assistant to unpack my gift for her. While she unwrapped the painting, she said: ‘Oh, this is the palace in Bangalore!’

History

My visit to the Queen of Mysore, Mrs. Pramoda was enlightening and at the same time a reflection of ‘female power’. I introduced our responsibility to initiate and support the awareness of passion, ambitions, and confidence with younger female (potential) leaders. We, as experienced leaders, with respect to our unique personality, different backgrounds and experiences, can share and guide young female leaders into new paradigms, even outside the borders of Karnataka.

‘Yes’, she replied, ‘let me know how to take this further! Young leaders need to learn to rely on their intuition and going forward in life, whatever it takes.’ She offered me a private tour through the palace which I immediately accepted. I was looking forward to breathing in years of ancient history hidden in these palace walls and understand better who we all are today. The history is still alive. And the proof of female leadership? No doubt about that! It will always be a never-ending story.’